impulse or destiny

December 3, 2007. I can remember this day, and this date for one reason. This is the day that i can now look back on and admit that i was a bit impulsive... scratch that, lets go back a little bit., or forward...

In 3 months and 13 days I will turn 25, and for some reason that's bothering me. I dont know if its the fact that i thought i was turning 24, and only about 3 weeks ago my husband reminded me that i was going to be 25. But to me, 25 is on the slope to 30, and on the slope to 30 is death, old age, boredom. I never cared about aging until lately. I used to argue with a friend who has dedicated his life to finding immortality that one day i wanted to die. that we dont deserve immortality, that everyone should age, and thats the way it supposed to be. but now, i think not...

Any who, getting to be 25, im looking at my place in life right now, and how i have gotten to be where i am. this was never my mode of thinking. i was just flighty, full of life, and never regarding circumstance or consequences. but im starting to reflect on how impulsive my decisions/ or choices (the better word) were. On that day, december 3, 2007, i was 19 years old and bought a house. I didnt care how i had gotten it. i didnt even think about the fact that i didnt put a nickel down, the fact that i worked at starbucks, and had no credit. i was just thinking that good things happened to good people, and positivity worked as a magnet for positive things. plus, a guy that i knew  was owed a favor by this other guy (the real estate agent). so it had to be legit. WRONG, i was the victim of mortgage fraud. i couldnt afford the mortgage payments. my cousin, (whom is one of my best friends, but not ideal to live with if you know what i mean) had to move in with me. oh and did i mention i had a 3 year old at the time. Which i guess is what im getting to...

Was i acting on impulse by moving from an asbestos infested one bedroom apartment with my 3 year old into the house of my dreams? (My dreams werent that big at the time, i had went to the prom with this kid, whose grandparents lived in this house, then they got shipped to an old folks home and VOILA for sale by owner, the house of my dreams!!) was it impulse or destiny?
is impulse part of destiny?
is impulse the core of destiny, and only when we put thoughtful measures into place do we fuck with destinys plan? is it coincidence that the landlord of that asbestos apartment just walked into starbucks as i was typing about it??